Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
