we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
