Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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