I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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