I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?