Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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