Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
