Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
