You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
