You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
