so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
