please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
barbara walters just said penis...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
