There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
