After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Barsexuality is the new black.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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