Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize