i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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