drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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