Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
