i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
