I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
