idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize