i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
