Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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