i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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