You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
