It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
