I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize