guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
