Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
