I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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