now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
