i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize