My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I had to cum in my sink.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
