anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize