Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
