I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
