Pappa wants mamma naked
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
