hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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