Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
