I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
