After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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