bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
