My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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