We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
