We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
