He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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