yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
