He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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