It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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