Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love having hate sex.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
did i walk over a car last night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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