I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
