Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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