What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
