i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
