why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
