i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
