If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
