those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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