I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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