so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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